I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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