My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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