Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
