thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
