I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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