question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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