wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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