Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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