How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
