Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
