Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
