Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
