Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
