Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The cops high fived after they tackled you
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
