I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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