I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
