He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
