u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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