bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
even my farts smell like vagina
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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