eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
