I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
