I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
this boner is exhausting
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
