i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
