i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
