I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
