This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
