i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
