I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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