hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
