This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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