remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
