is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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