i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This house was built for laser tag.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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