So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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