in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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