Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
