You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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