yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
