I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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