they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
