arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
