There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
