I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
