Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
