how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
