Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
