as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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