My sheets look like a crime scene.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
