Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
