Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we made out on top of his cat.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
