Small penises have feelings too.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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