I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
