It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
