Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
